Lesson 8: Real friends

A few experiences in the past few days reminded of what qualities make up a real friend.

Two days ago, one of my classmates called and said she needed to talk to someone about personal problems. She's originally from another part of the state so just recently moving into this city and the fact that we have distance education (i.e. more isolation) make it somewhat unfavorable for a newbie. "I know we're not that close, but I really need a friend right now," she said. I listened to her story and although I didn't know much about her personal life, obviously there weren't many other people she could count on, so I felt it was my duty to be there for her in a time of need. She also said to me, "It's nice to be assured I have friends around here." It feels good to know that someone understands and appreciates the help you provide them with. The tough part is being consistent.

Tonight was my boyfriend's birthday celebration. It was only meant to be a handful of people, but the turnout was less than expected. At the end of the night, he told me he was upset that only two people from his class showed up. "After everything I've done for them, after they made you cry because of so many nights staying up studying so late, I ask them to show up one time for my birthday and they didn't come. What a bunch of assholes."

I already knew that it gets tougher to make friends when you get older, but not this tough. You think they're your friends... but maybe it's just convenience. Hey, you're here, I'm here too, so let's hang out. Maybe it's just for their benefit. You're studying? I'll study with you so we can both ace this exam. But when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, who will volunteer to stay when you are in need? Who will give back when they don't have to? Who are your real friends?