Lesson 24: Intentions and Actions

I read somewhere once a list of things you need to know as an adult, and one of those things said something along the lines of, "As an adult, intentions don't matter. Actions are more important." I cannot come up with enough instances where that holds true. If you've been meaning to do something, what is stopping you from doing it right now? If you are reading this blog, you've got time to do something you've been meaning to do.

It it someone's birthday today, and you haven't said, "Happy birthday" to them yet? Call or text or Facebook the person right now. Or go see them in person. Have you been meaning to work out today? Get up out of your chair and go put on some gym clothes. You're at least one step closer, and once you're done for the day, you're done for the day. Just had a job interview yesterday and didn't mail or email your interviewer a Thank-You letter? Open up your email in a new tab and get to it right now.

As small as these things may be, these actions, left as intentions, could leave you with a disadvantage. So it's your spouse's birthday and even though you had something planned another day, you meant to say "happy birthday" today and forgot? Dog house (especially if your spouse is your wife). You intended to work out today, but you just got too lazy and then you see a picture of your ex on Instagram and he/she has been working out and looks hotter? Damn. And you intended to write a Thank-You letter to your interviewer, but it slipped your mind and you ended up not getting a second interview because your other competitors had the same credentials as you, but did that small extra step? Sucks to lose out on a great opportunity due to something that small. 

Actions shape the perception of a person. A good person can be perceived as not so great because of their actions, even with good intentions. Of course if the series of intentions are consistently not followed up with actions, unfortunately that person is perceived as "a dreamer and not a do-er" or "a bullshitter" or as someone always making empty promises. 

If you've meant to do something big for a long time, like go back to school, start small. If you have to, schedule a time for yourself -- like a couple of hours a week -- to just research colleges, ask questions, figure out your budget, sign up for courses. Eventually you'll just get into the flow of things and before you know it, you'll be done. Going back to Lesson 23, ask yourself, "Will I regret not doing this?" If so, do it, and there isn't a better time than now. Otherwise, you won't want to look back at your life 30 years from now and say, "I meant to go back to school" not have anything to show for it.

Lesson 23: Seize the moment

I'm currently listening to the 90's Pop Hits station on my Pandora and "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" came on just a few minutes ago. Of course I know all the words. That made me think of a time several years ago when I was out with a bunch of friends at a bar with live music and a dance floor: The band played covers all night, and before the next song, they asked if anyone in the audience knew all the words to the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", and to come up to the mic if they did. People around me knew I did, and they urged me to go up there but I didn't because I was too shy to. Instead, some hesitant chick went up there and didn't know half the song. I could've anhihilated that song. When am I ever going to have another opportunity to do that?

It also makes me think of another time earlier this year. I did the Tough Mudder with a team of about 16 people, with me being only one of three girls. At the end right before the last obstacle, which is composed of basically a mud pit and dozens of hanging electrical wires, the announcer stopped the whole team and asked us to all go through it together. Mind you, there were a few hundred family members and friends on both sides of the obstacle shouting in excitement, marking the near-end of achievement and refreshments and showers and rest. The announcer shouted into the mic, "3... 2... 1... GO!" And everyone ran through it... except me. I'm the loser that went around because I'm scared of getting shocked. And that's the last Tough Mudder I ever intend on doing.

Sometimes I let myself down. For times like these, I need to learn to think to myself, "Will I regret not doing this?" If the answer is yes, suck it up and fucking do it. Your fears confine you. Learn to think that it's about the bigger picture, the story of your life, the stories you'll be able to tell and that your friends will be able to tell. It may even prove to yourself that you are capable of so much more than you think.

Many Missed Lessons: Blog revival!

It's been a long time.

I have posted a couple of entries here and there with Google+, but I don't think it'll be the same as what I started here. I've decided that this is a good theme for an ongoing blog and that it's time for a revival. I can't promise that there will be daily posts, but writing has always been therapeutic for me and after a long hiatus, it's time to come back.

Since my last post, here are some major events that have happened in my life (not necessarily in chronological order):

• Graduated from pharmacy school
• Completed a 1-year General Practice Residency at Mayo Clinic
• Obtained a full-time position as Assistant Pharmacy Manager at a well-known and respected local grocery chain
• Got out of a 7-year relationship and recently ended a 2.5-year relationship
• Moved out into an apartment for a year
• Moved out of the apartment and bought a house
• Bought a new car (2014 Mazda CX-5)
• Ran my first half-marathon in Vegas and raised money for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America
• Visited family in the Philippines
• Started attending a rapidly growing non-denominational church

I can't tell you how many lessons I've learned since then, and I know that I have changed and matured since the last time anything was posted. But my most recent lesson has been this: My accomplishments have merely been steps towards living the American Dream, but I still do not feel fulfilled. I know that I am capable of doing almost anything I want, as long as I put effort into it. When I set a goal, I can usually reach it. I have proved it to myself time and time again. But I just move onto the next thing, then the next thing and the next... and now I feel like I am here right where I need to be, but something is still missing. That's when I asked myself, Is it God?

 

That is one of the reasons why I have looked back into going to church, hoping to seek those answers. I have been attending this new church for a few months now, but have yet to join a disciple group or become active. I grew up Catholic and this is still new to me... but I am open to new experiences-- just scared to push myself right over the edge into them. I am hopeful and doubtful at the same time... I know God doesn't disappoint, but I can't shake the feeling that he will until something happens.

When you're younger, it's easier to make connections. You've got school, work, extracurricular activities, hobbies. Young people generally seem more willing to meet new people or try new things. At my age now, people are more interested in cultivating the relationships that they have already established, but I am still willing to make new connections. I hold dear to the friends that I have kept in touch with over several years, but it's different now. We grow and sometimes have less in common than what we used to. People move away, start a new job somewhere, join the military. I remember being able to call people at 3am if I wanted/needed to, but now people have to get up early, go to work, take the kids to school. It gets lonely sometimes. 

But they say you are where you are because of you and the choices you make. I find that mostly true. I guess the only solution would be to keep moving, keep opening up opportunities to make new connections and experience new things. Hopefully I can find something that will make everything worthwhile.